Some Deep Thoughts...

I've had this weighing on my mind for two days now. I just need to write this to myself so that I can go back and read it again and again to remind myself of this.

On the radio yesterday, I heard someone talking about taking one day at a time with our children. ONE DAY...without looking to tomorrow, or next week, or next year. This is sooo hard for me. I always catch myself thinking, "Oh, when he's 3, he'll do this. When he's 5, he'll be doing this. It will be so good then." Candice, it's so good, NOW!

Then last night, we were watching the CMA awards, and Trace Adkins came on and sang "You're Gonna Miss This." Heavens, the tears started flowing. Here are the lyrics to the last verse and chorus if you've never heard the song:

Five years later there's a plumber
workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'

He says "They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own.
One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but...

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

Oh, it just spoke to me like nothing else. I'm going to miss these days so much.

I'm going to miss how he crawls into my lap.
I'm going to miss how he wants me to hold him all the time.
I'm going to miss his little hand reaching up to hold mine when he's walking.
I'm going to miss "Night, night Mommy."
I'm going to miss our One Last Kiss through the baby bed rails.
I'm going to miss those sweet curls.
I'm going to miss "Ook, Mommy."
I'm going to miss him going with me on my walks.
I'm even going to miss that UT Jersey when he eventually moves on to another shirt.

I know I'm going to miss all this stuff, but I don't want to miss being in the here and now because I'm looking too far ahead. All the things I often get so frustrated about or times when I wish he were older, I'm know that I'm going to miss whatever it was he was doing one day.

I just needed to remind myself of that. Before I know it, he'll be gone, and I'm going to miss HIM!